The Legend of Tarzan is a film.

Margot Robbie and Alexander Skarsgard’s abs are Tarzan and Jane

It is a film about Tarzan and Jane after all the fun things happened and have to go and resolve the financial problems of a foreign nation. Why? Because he’s Tarzan and apparently that’s enough of a qualification.

Samuel L Jackson is in this movie because he needs more money.

Christoph Waltz is a good villain, quelle surprise.

The CGI is pretty good.

The acting is less believable than the fake animals (apart from the dinner scene, that was great).

They wasted John Hurt and Jim Broadbent and that is unforgiveable.

This film cost $180 Million and I can not for the life of me see anything that justifies that price.

Tarzan does not do the shout, which need not had been mentioned if I actually thought this Sweedish/American actor was anything close to what Tarzan is supposed to be.

If you’re wondering why I’m not waffling on like normal reviews it’s because I thought I’d put as much effort into this review as the team behind this movie.

Edgar Rice Burroughs’s reaction to this movie would be one of ‘is that it?’ because taking one of the most legendary characters in American literature and making him liberate settlements and trains, hug some lions, make stupid banter with Sam Jackson, overcome basically nothing and have no character arc in the whole film, learn nothing from his experiences and make the audience engage with nothing but NOTHING in this bland, boring and comatose inducing film.

When a film costs this much, we as consumers deserve better and I am over the moon that I didn’t spend any money seeing this garbage.

Published by James Stirling Wilson

James is 20 and engrossed with the world of gaming and film that he talks about little else. Currently at university studying for a music degree James fills his downtime with the newest films and games constantly looking for something fresh and exciting in this world of sequels, reboots and re-imaginings.

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